The Feedback Gap
There is a consistent gap in most workplaces between feedback that is given and feedback that results in change. Managers give feedback they consider clear and direct. Recipients experience it as vague or unfair. Nothing changes. The cycle repeats.
The gap is almost never about honesty or intention. It is about structure and delivery.
The SBI Framework
Situation-Behaviour-Impact is the most practical feedback structure I have encountered. It is simple enough to use in real time and specific enough to be actionable.
- Situation: When and where. "In yesterday's planning meeting…"
- Behaviour: What you observed, not your interpretation. "…you interrupted three people before they finished their point…"
- Impact: The concrete effect. "…which meant their ideas did not get considered, and two of them disengaged for the rest of the session."
Feedback on behaviour is actionable. Feedback on character is a verdict. Keep it on behaviour.
Separating Observation from Interpretation
The hardest part of SBI is staying in the behaviour lane. "You seemed frustrated" is an interpretation. "You sighed and pushed back from the table" is an observation. The former invites defensiveness. The latter invites curiosity.
When in doubt, ask yourself: could a camera have recorded this? If yes, it is behaviour. If no, it is interpretation.
Receiving Feedback Well
Receiving feedback is a skill as learnable as giving it. The instinct is to defend or explain. The practice is to listen, ask clarifying questions, and take time before responding.
- Thank the person for sharing
- Ask one clarifying question: "Can you give me a specific example?"
- Say you will think about it — and mean it
- Follow up within a week with what you are doing differently
That follow-up is what distinguishes people who grow from people who merely tolerate feedback.